Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Big Birds & Bulls

Associated Press

HARFORD, Pa. — Officials say a rodeo bull at the Harford Fair in Pennsylvania got loose and ran wild around the grounds injuring several people before the animal was captured.
Fair officials say the bull got loose during loading Friday evening. The Binghamton, N.Y. Press & Sun Bulletin reports that hundreds of fairgoers dove into carnival game booths and fences to escape the animal ( ).
At least 10 people were reportedly injured, but fair and fire officials would not confirm the number of injuries and declined to answer questions on the incident, citing an ongoing investigation.
Nineteen-year-old Raymond Rose told the newspaper that people were screaming as the bull ran toward them. He says it had big horns and weighed probably 900 pounds.
The paper reported the fair reopened Saturday at 8 a.m.

If you ask me, Americans are turning into big fat wimps!  How can a domesticated farm animal strike this kind of terror in the hearts of thousands?  No wonder a Muslim brother with aviator shades and an odd shaped brief case can set off more alarms than a Kansas twister!!  I watched one of the videos posted on Youtube and the bull appeared to be barely trotting down the fairway. I'll bet he was just looking for the cattle trailer or maybe the beer tent.  (Whiskey for my men, beer for my bulls*)  The plump old lady in the wheel chair?  The one who had to be life-lined to Geisinger Medical after being flipped into the air and left semi-conscious with half a corn-dog protruding from her mouth?  Well geez... maybe  next time she won't play rodeo clown around Tim Toro the Texas Longhorn!  

Excluding headlines concerning the gas rich Marcellus shale, the last incident in this area to go National happened back in 1986 when Christopher Lake ( a.k.a. "Lakie") and his pregnant wife Nanette, caught up with a high school kid  who had slipped into their home and pinched some marijuana.  Lakie, an affable fellow when not high on Bud Light or methamphetamine, was a Harley-Davidson homie renown for being wound a tad too tight. Only a fool would have thought to steal from Lakie, let alone go after the man's personal stash.  But to brag about it afterward at a high school dance was nothing less than a death wish.  

There is honor among thieves; when crossed, retribution is swift and often lethal.  

Lakie had to set an example.  So he and his bride, along with a friend, Hank Peck, apprehended the young scoundrel and in a makeshift court set up among the socket sets and tire-irons of the family garage, tried and convicted the kid of rifling through the Lake's nightstand and slipping away with a bud or two of fine Jamaican weed.   As punishment, they stripped the teenager of his clothes, covered his trembling body with axle grease and then broke a couple of down pillows over his head.  With the high beams of the Chevy illuminating the way, the three vigilantes then forced their prisoner to walk the length of Main Street, New Milford, PA to atone for his crime.  The story made NBC's TODAY show.  I later heard the eye-witness testimony of an astounded local resident:

"I could hardly believe it.  There was all this honkin' and hollering and down the middle of Main Street comes this... this... thing.  Well I don't know, but it looked just like Big Bird! "

Lakie was convicted of aggravated assault, fined about a thousand dollars and given a suspended sentence.  Some days later a hand painted sign appeared in his front yard on Cobb Street.  Atop a black background in neat white stenciling the plaque read:   

                                                               May 6, 1986
                                Site of the last American Tar and Feathering

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